Sunday, August 19, 2007

updating at 9.14pm of 19 august '07..

my brain's very tired. no matter how much tests, exams and homework add up together cannot account for the tiredness of my brain. tell me, what do i do to help my sis!! her health is getting from bad to worse and worst of all, she isn't taking any of our advice. she still keeps to her "principle". i can see that my mum is gonna collapse soon. she's been so drained out of her energy mentally. i almost wanted to give her a hug this afternoon in the car when she told me how worried she was for my sis and the events when she woke up in the middle of the night to check that my sis is sleeping by her side. she's so worried that my sis may leave home or do something that is not right. like my sis, i know she too, needs the support from my dad and i. but, my dad, he's been so busy with his work. he has too much, too much to handle. from work to unbearable clients with ridiculous demands.. how can he carry this heavy burden! i dont wish to see my mum and dad being so worried for my sis. it hurts me deeply.

those who know me well will know that im not one who displays my care and concern for others openly. i do not know how to comfort people. but im one who shows my emotions very openly. but, since my sis isn't feeling so well, i have to learn to hide my feelings. whether im happy or sad or angry, all these i have to keep it within me. how long, oh Lord, how long do i have to live with this? all the wrong emotions coming out at the wrong time. i do care, but i dont show it. may you understand our actions one day. even if you were to rebel and go against us now, i really hope that you will understand one day, if not my actions, at least the actions that mum and dad took. they are really hurt and worried.

i wanna thank ogre for being there all the time. for my sis and me, and my family. thank grace, caiyun and all of my sis' ex-sec sch friends. you guys have been great! caring so much for her. thank you! she may have rejected help from you, shun away from you, but you guys still put in so much for her. im sure she understands. but i just want you to know that promos are important too. your support is all that's enough for us.

thanks to daph for spurring me on all the time! my partner for life.. :) thanks to all others, family members etc for showing us so much support. :) with that, God bless you all and do take care okay!

ciao!

SHIN-ing @.. 9:14 PM